David Lebovitz

Even though we live in a globalized world, I'm always surprised by how many people want to make or eat anything, and everything, no matter where they live. Whether or not it makes sense.

Take Parisian macarons. In the last year or so, they've become the new cupcake and not a week goes by when I don't get a message about someone freaking out and wondering why the top of someone's batch of macarons cracked, or where someone can get real, honest-to-goodness French macarons in Podunk.

Like a Parisian baguette or a croissant, if you want any of those things, you should just come to Paris and have it. If you want Texas chili, you should go to Texas. If you're craving Kentucky fried chicken, well, then you should go to Kentucky.

I'm probably not the sharpest knife in the drawer, because about a decade ago, I met two guys who were planning to start a bean-to-bar chocolate company in America. And I remember thinking, "Hoo-boy, are these nut-jobs going to lose their shirts! Who in America cares that much about chocolate?"

Fast-forward to a few years later, and Scharffen Berger chocolate became a huge hit, challenging, and changing the way Americans thought about chocolate. It was eventually sold for a substantial sum of money, and the rest is history.

And I'm living in a drafty, two room rooftop apartment where getting hot water is a miracle that might happen weekly. If at all. So who's the nut-job now?

It's not all fun and frolic—and chocolate—around here. Aside from dealing with banks that limit access to your own money, or scratching your head when the France Telecom representative tells you that it's going to cost you a mere €465 to keep your mobile number if you change to another one of their other phone plans (although it was a stretch to even get there; his first response was, "Yes. It is not possible"), believe it or not, there are some less-than-pastoral things about life here.

One of them is not Tuber melanosporum, or black truffles, which as far as I'm concerned more than makes up for anything else. (Well, I would like a new phone...)

Sure, various black truffles are found in Spain, Italy, China, Croatia, and even in the United States of America. But none that I've smelled compare to the famed black truffles unearthed from woods and forests of southwest France. Rien du tout.

When I worked in the restaurant business, we'd often get knobbly black truffles sent to us, which were shaved over simple dishes like pasta, potatoes, and risottos; anything more complicated competes with their funky, pungent, but highly-prized aroma. People go ga-ga over truffles, but I never caught the truffle bug, which was excellent news for my wallet.

On my recent trip to Cahors, we went for a walk in the forest with a truffle hunter—and his boisterous pig, in search of black truffles. And it was there I learned how they work together to find these elusive tubers.

I'm not one to easily back down from an argument, especially when it comes to anything food-related. (Well, except about whether brownies should have nuts or not. That's just something I just can't get worked up about, as much as some people do.) Recently I was having a bit of a disagreement with someone particularly stubborn about the role of fat in cooking.

I believe fat is fine, but should be used where it makes a difference. For example, milk is better in hot chocolate than cream, as the heavy richness of the cream overwhelms the taste of the bittersweet chocolate. And I don't think anyone who tastes a scoop of my chocolate sorbet can tells me it doesn't have the intense flavor of the deepest, darkest chocolate dessert. I dare ya.

But on the other hand, if you're going to pan-fry potatoes, a spoonful of duck fat in the frying pan will produce crackly, crisp-browned potato cubes, and they're going to be a life-changing experience. So I'm happy to use it there. If you still afraid to try it, and are too concerned about eating duck fat, walk to the gym the next time you go, instead of driving there.

Last year Amanda Hesser was reminiscing with me about Maida Heatter, when she asked me to recreate Maida's popover recipe. For those that don't know who Maida Heatter is, she's responsible for writing some of the most amazing, luscious, scrumptiously adjective-worthy baking books over the last few decades. Known for carrying around cellophane-wrapped brownies in her purse, and distributing them freely, she was equally generous with recipes as she was with words.

I had a wee bit of a dilemma recently. In my refrigerator was a half-jar of crème fraîche, that I had to use up before I left for a recent vacation on the beach. I'd been thinking about making caramels with it, but I also knew that I would be slipping on a swimsuit within a few weeks. And being alone in my apartment with an open jar of ultra-rich crème fraîche was probably not a good idea.

So what did I do? I hemmed and hawed about it, until I channeled my mother, who would have flipped out if I tossed away the rest of the crème fraîche. (Or anything, for that matter.)

Maybe we shouldn't count out le Kir quite yet. (# 2).

Although I'll take a pass on one spiked with violet, or à la rose.

The other night I was sitting at Le Garde Robe, minding my own business, trying to get down a glass of natural wine. Being seven o'clock, naturally, in addition to being thirsty, I was starving, too.

And the lack of food (and sulfides) must have started affecting my brain because I started thinking about how I often hear tales from visitors, such as when they told a Parisian waiter they didn't eat meat and shortly afterward, were presented with a plate of lamb. Or they ordered a salad, that was supposed to come with the sandwich, and was actually just a single leaf of lettuce. Hoo-boy, and yes, I've made a few gaffes of my own, too: I once ordered a glass of Lillet (pronounced le lait, which isn't well-known around Paris) and the perplexed café waiter brought me out a long, slender glass of le lait (milk), presented with great panache, on a silver dish with a nice doily. Of course, everyone was staring at the grown man who ordered a tall glass of milk. And I don't think it was because of the starched doily.

Anyhow, I was scanning the chalkboard at Le Garde Robe, looking at the various charcuterie and cheese on offer, and noticed filet mignon, and thought, "A steak is a funny thing for a wine bar to serve, especially one that doesn't serve hot food." Until I remembered what it is in French. And if everyone wasn't already staring at the idiot at the wine bar, nursing a stemmed glass of milk, I would've kicked myself for thinking that's a big, juicy steak. Which it's not, in France.

1. Mixing Up the Mignons

Mignon in French means "cute". And to my pork-loving friends and readers, that can only mean one thing: pigs. French people think cows are attractive.

A few weeks ago, I made plans to meet my friend Terresa in Pigalle, to check out a new épicerie (specialty food shop). I don't know if you're familiar with Pigalle, but the area has a certain well-deserved 'reputation' and if you're a middle-aged man walking around by yourself in the evening, casually looking in the windows of the cafés and bars, don't be surprised if a very scantily-clad woman tries to catch your eye back, and catch your fancy. And a few euros.

My friend was late, so after I cut my walk short though the quartier, I waited outside the Le Marché des Gastronomes, where we were planning to meet, which made me only slightly less of a target. And within a few minutes, people were handing me business cards for various 'services' of the female persuasion. So I was especially glad when the only woman in the neighborhood I was interested in hooking up with finally arrived and we went inside.

The idea of the store is to be one place filled with many great products. There were indeed some interesting things on the shelves, including Spanish hams and other European specialties. But when you live in France, it's hard to get worked up about shrink-wrapped cheeses, no matter how good they might be, when there's so many amazing fromageries in every neighborhood. But I think they're trying to be both a specialty shop and cater to the locals who need the basics, too. So I give them points for rising to that task, and most of us would be thrilled to have a place like that in our neighborhood.