Biscoff Spread (Speculoos à Tartiner)

speculoos cream

I don’t have conclusive proof, but I’m going to say it anyways: the cashiers at my local Monoprix are perhaps the least pleasant people in all of France. I once needed to use their photo machine for some documents, which required a €5 note. So after waiting in two lines, asking two different cashiers to change a €20, they both refused. So I went downstairs to the supermarket and bought some groceries, which totaled something like €9.68.

When the cashier handed me back a €10, I politely requested 2 fives, mentioning that I needed one to use their photo machine. When she refused, I asked her why. And she snapped back, “Because I don’t have any change!” So I walked to the end of the counter where I could get a pretty clear view of her her cash box brimming with bills. Even though she had a sizable wad of €5 notes stacked up in there, if I wanted to change, I had to go back upstairs to the one particular register that is equipped to give change.

After waiting behind four customers, which I won’t tell you how long that took, when it was my turn, I handed over the €10, asking for 2 fives.

When she said, “What for?”…it took every gram of patience for me not to say, “So I don’t strangle you.”

Lucky for her, instead, I told Romain about it later that day. “You should’ve just gone to the métro station and used their photo machine. Plus they’ll give you change if you need it” he advised, as if that was the only natural thing to do. (But it’s not just change that’s in short supply; it’s sympathy as well. One day I went to pay, and frantically rummaging through my pockets, I thought I’d lost my wallet. The cashier’s response? She started laughing at me. ) It was then I realized that in France, social programs and public companies work much better than private ones. Except Apple, who I am convinced should run the country. And open a Genius Bar in city hall, while they’re at it.

speculoos in jar

If you want to see a French person go ballistic, ask them what they think of their bank. (Interestingly, defying any sort of logic, I just learned that I can only get change only at the branch of my bank where I opened my account, but not at any others.) But the métro, high-speed trains, and French health care system work exceedingly well. In fact, it was strange to watch the health care debate in America since that system is teeming with flaws, and not one time did I hear anyone talk about the French model.

speculoos jar

Most of the arguments against reform went along the lines of “I don’t want the government telling me what to do”, which is unusual because in France, the government doesn’t tell you what to do: your doctor prescribes treatment, then you get it done. There’s no gatekeeper or anyone deciding yes or no, except your doctor. And my doctor is so nice that she prescribed me a free colonoscopy earlier this year, which included a plateful of delicious madeleines in the recovery room afterward.

Even though it’s hard to get a free colonoscopy, I’d imagine, there’s plenty of other good things to be had in America. And when Romain and I went to Florida last year, I brought an empty suitcase just to fill up with all-American goodies at the supermarket. When we hit the register and I’d loaded up the conveyor belt with natural cocoa powder, cupcake liners, marshmallow cream, butterscotch chips, tinned tomatillos, unscented shaving gel, organic crunchy peanut butter, and Orville Redenbacker’s, I spotted the rack of candy, with York Peppermint Patties piled on it, and said aloud that I should’ve got one.

The cashier looked at me, and said, “Hold on just a minute.” Now to anyone who lives in France, you might want to sit down when you read this next line—she actually walked around the counter and grabbed one off the rack for me.

And of course, because I was getting one—even if he didn’t know what it was, Romain wanted one too. And when she looked into those sad French eyes of his, she said, “Honey, do you want one too?” and went over to get him one as well.

speculoos on bread

When we were back in Paris, telling his parents about the trip, I could detect him getting a little misty-eyed when he said, “And the supermarket— pas de stresse!.” Which was something I never really thought about, although I recounted some of the startling differences between upscale American supermarkets with my local one here in my Paris book.

In spite of the fact that Americans think the French only eat wonderful foods, a trip to the supermarket can yield some odd surprises. Yes, my supermarket carries every conceivable flavor of yogurt. Yet they don’t have plain. Harry’s Bread, the most popular bread in France, and similar to Wonder Bread, I just learned now comes in a crustless, snowy-white variety. And how surprised was I recently to see a group of teenagers walking out of a supermarket with a jumbo bag of Pepperidge Farms cookies, literally, the size of a sofa cushion.

However I’m not immune to this creeping bit of Americana dans le supermarché. And a while back I was in line, admiring the jars of Nutella lined up in the unreachable distance. While pondering getting out of line (I can’t imagine asking someone to hold you place while you ran to get something you forgot), I scanned the shelf and saw a jar of something called Speculoos à Tartiner.

For those of you unfamiliar with them, Speculoos are Belgian spice cookies, similar to gingersnaps. They have a bracing nip of spices, enhanced with dark brown sugar, and I don’t mind at all when I order a coffee and one comes alongside as a petit cadeau.

speculoos cream

When I worked at Chez Panisse way back when, the worst thing you could imagine was to run into a co-worker at…of all places, the supermarket. Because sure enough, there would inevitably be a box of Mallomars or Tostitos or a pack of Ballpark franks tossed in your cart. And you were completely busted.

So after I ended my three month boycott of Monoprix (an act which I’m sure went unnoticed), when I was coming home from Monoprix last week, hauling my reusable somewhat transparent shopping bag, I ran into not one…but four different readers…who stopped me to say hello. One told me that she “…laughed her ass off reading my Paris book.” I’m polite so I didn’t ask her to turn around for verification, but I took her word for her.

(To the cashiers at Monoprix: See? Is being polite really all that hard?)

In case any of those four people are reading this, the reason I was being so furtive was that I’d picked up a jar of Speculoos cream at long last. I don’t know if the French are label-readers like we Americans are, but I did take a look at the ingredients. I won’t recount what was in it, because I find all this talk about interdit ingredients a bit ennuyeax. In the states, everyone is in a tizzy about whatever is the bad-guy of the moment, and there were likely a few in there. But since the label proudly noted that this paste won a Saveur de l’année 2009, some sort of French taste award, I reasoned that if it’s good enough for French tastemakers, it’s good enough for me.

Luckily no one saw the forbidden jar in my sack—or they were just being polite, and when I got it home, I twisted off the top, curious to how a spread made with spicy cookies in it would taste.

speculoos spoon

Oh la vâche.

That means, sort of, “Holy cow!” in French. Of course, they don’t use the exclamation mark because that would be très américain. And aside from expecting an occasional token of kindness from the cashiers at the supermarket, I wouldn’t want to be accused of that either. Still, I gotta give it to those French tastemakers: the Speculoos à Tartiner was amazing. Imagine in not-too-sweet gingersnap, spicy and bold, that you can smear over a piece of baguette. Or lick right off the spoon. Move over Nutella. (Unless there’s a chocolate version. Then we’ll talk.)

This is a pretty big jar, and I feel a lot better now that I’ve come out and no longer feel the need to hide my jar of speculoos paste from passing strangers. But because it’s so good, I think I’d better hide it from myself, as this is seriously dangerous stuff. So hopefully this jar will likely last me a while. But if it doesn’t, I know where I can get more. And I’ll even brave the cashiers at the supermarket checkout to get it.



UPDATE: It seems as if this spread is finally be imported into the United States. It’s available on Amazon and may possibly be found in specialty food stores in your area. It’s also available through the Biscoff Online Store.



Related Links and Posts

Chocolate That’s “Too Good to Use”

Chocolate-Hazelnut Spread

WTF

Chez Panisse Gingersnaps

L’Enfer de Numericable

Wielding Her Tampon

Non-Fat Gingersnaps

15 Things I’d Miss About Paris If I Moved Away

How to Find Foods and Other Items Mentioned on the Site

speculoos cream

Oddly, the “Biscoff spread” (as they call it elsewhere) keeps disappearing from the Biscoff website, which sells it in the United States. You might wish to inquire at the Lotus Bakeries worldwide site for availability.



181 comments

  • Other than dehydrating it, crushing it up and snorting it, we have yet to find a recipe for “crack goo” that tastes better than straight out of the jar.

  • et la pâte de spéculoos crunchy …. oh my god !

  • And those Monoprix checkout ladies always act like the plastic sacs are made of gold and that the cost of them comes out of their own personal salary. At my place they always want me to pay in exact change but I usually tell them I don’t have any since the money drawer in bulging with change. I was at a Franprix once where the clerk actually did run out of change but I think that’s rare.
    I had a dream about you last night for some reason. I dreamed I was frying something up on my stove and you came in to pick up someone and came over to look at what I was cooking and said, “That looks so good!” After you left I realized that I had my sunglasses on instead of my regular glasses and wondered if you thought I was crazy. Now why I dreamed that is a mystery to me.

  • Hi David.
    I cannot wait to see your official version of speculoos ice cream. I know there is a version in “The Perfect Scoop” but I admit I have not tried that one yet. (The Guinness-Milk Chocolate ice cream with Oatmeal praline is very, very delicieux) There must be many speculoos recipes following. Imagine all the cookies and desserts possible with this spread.

    I’m writing this e-mail with your Perfect Scoop on my left and the new South Beach diet handbook on my right. Life is full of choices and can be so cruel.

  • I feel your pain about those Monoprix cashiers. Despite what everyone says about Parisians being rude, I found found that everyone was pretty nice to the American girl when I visited a few years ago… except for the Monoprix cashiers and the CDG gate attendants.

  • Harry’s pain de mie without crust and “American” style bread scares me too, the same with those huge bags of precooked croissants and other viennoiseries with expiration dates good for weeks. Any prepacked bread product with something in it to keep it “extra moelleux” for a prolonged amount of time scares me, too.
    I didn’t know what Speculoos cookies were until I came to France, and of course I fell in love with them at first taste. Shortly after, I spotted this spread at a Casino, and I couldn’t resist. I wasn’t disappointed either, the texture is amazing, and you don’t need to put a thick layer to taste it, unlike Nutella. Though the texture of European Nutella puts the American version to shame, but that’s another story…

  • I’ve lived in France since 1985 and have found only 2 or 3 reasonably pleasant cashiers in my many years of supermarket shopping.
    My favorite so far works at the Franprix rue de Santeuil in the 5th. She always has a smile, a kind word and has even given me flowers and chocolates on occasion (I’m a pretty good customer, but that has seemingly escaped the notice of all other caissières/gérants).
    This is also the only store in the neighborhood that stays open all day on Sunday.

  • My bowl of cheerios with blueberries and raspberries suddenly seems so boring. Speculoos cream… seriously? I’ll have to check my supermarche’ for this new treat. My kids love parfaits made with crunched up speculoos, yogurt and berries. Do they sell Cote d’Or chocolate in Paris? This past winter they came out with Cote d’Or Chocolate au Lait Speculoos. Fabulous!

  • Braden: Hmm, I hadn’t thought of your first suggestion. And I’ve still got a bucket of tapioca maltodextrin leftover from my Molecular Gastronomy experiments. Unfortunately, I’d need more of the speculoos cream. Perhaps I should just try to find it online…

    Connie & Linda: My friends who live near St Michel said the Monoprix over there has those non-cashier automatic checkout, which they use exclusively for that reason. I don’t know why they’re so nasty, especially the one’s at the Saint-Paul Monoprix. I think it is the whole ‘power’ thing they have with customers, to prove they’re just as good (if not better), than les clients.

    I keep thinking that if they started being nice, the customers would follow suit and their work would be a little easier. But that’s just me. That day she refused to give me change, the French guy behind me was just shaking his head, laughing at her refusal to help a customer. So they find them as enervating as we do.

    charlotte: That bread is scary. And it’s crazy how popular their products are in France. Their site lists all sorts to statistics, including “2/3 des foyers français consomment des pains de mie et viennoiseries Harry’s”- (2/3rds of the French eat their breads and pastries.)

    I’ll stick with my local baguette, thanks.

  • My friend introduced me to this sublime stuff last month. He serves it on crêpes at his Crêperie. (swoon)
    I’ve resisted buying a jar so far, because I know how quickly it will disappear if I bring one home. Seriously dangerous is right!

  • Hi David,

    I’m an American living in Belgium and I absolutely LOVE Speculoos à Tartiner! In our house we mix it with a dark chocolate spread. It’s our own version of PB & J sandwiches except we use croissants. Very delicious!! And have you tried Haagen Daz’s Speculoos ice cream? As far as I know it’s not sold in the US but you can easily find it at Carrefour. I’d be interested in any ideas you may have about incorporating the Speculoos à Tartiner into a home-made ice cream.

    As a side note… I was traveling in Egypt last Dec. and NO ONE has change there! lol! As a last resort my friend & I went to a bank and THEY told us they didn’t have change! Can you imagine a bank with no change… Oh, wait you live in Paris so I think you’d understand. lol! After some persuasion the bank finally gave us change. ;)

  • There’s some things, as this paste, that won’t get you any odds looks from french people :D.

    We do like quality products but we also love “les madeleines de Proust”, which as you may know is not another treat but a literature reference. Proust wrote with passion and in a very precise style about the fact of rediscovering the taste and the feeling of madeleine cookies from his childhood, along with the memories attached to that treat. The saying is now used as a way to describe amazing foods with incredible taste, related to nostalgia or strong pleasures, no matter the “forbidden-ness” of those foods… Objecting “c’est ma madeleine de Proust”, or “Ah oui mais ça, c’est ma madeleine !”, can be both interpreted as “I have strong feelings, a love story with that food, so it’s my joker, refrain your sarcasm because I simply won’t hear you”.

    Usually french people completely understand the madeleine feeling, because everybody here has his own :).

    Speculoos paste is definitely one of those products. You already talked about les oursons guimauve which are another. I think s’mores and rice krispies treats would be exactly the kind of american madeleines de Proust, too.
    If you go near Belgium sometimes, prepare to stock some of those jars, because they are less expensive (and if I remember well, I think there’s other brands distributed there).

    Anyway I look forward to see what kind of recipes you are going to create with this !

  • Hi David,

    I found a orange-chocolat-speculoos spread at Paris last month. This one. It IS amazing. I believe I bought it at Monoprix St Germain, but it seems you can order it online.

    BTW, I liked Les Petits Carreaux so much that I went twice during my stay. And my hosts loved the Kayser’s pain aux écureils. Thanks a lot for that post!

    -Vida

  • Wow – a spicy gingersnap-ish spread. What is not to love?
    I’ll be sure to pick this up on my trip to Paris next month. Thanks for sharing David!

  • you’re so right – this is seriously addicting stuff. maybe because the spread isn’t cloggingly sweet. i’m known to have snorted the whole jar in two days, so.. yeah. i first tasted it in a cafe in lyon as part of café speculoos. mmmmmm.

    on a side note,
    >> (I can’t imagine asking someone to hold you place while you ran to get something you forgot)
    I’ve had the french do that! but maybe that’s because they somehow see that I’m not a “local” and know that i won’t go crazy. or maybe that depends on le département.

  • I thought you would appreciate this Belgium distributor description.

    “The pasta is fun for those who like breakfast sandwiches with nonchalant speculaas coffee in the log. It is also an alternative to other bread spreads as of Nutella chocolate and peanut butter of Calve. Calve cost of peanut butter again and is still equal calorie richer and bolder – but less sweet – than Speculoos pastes. The ‘least’ – and that is all relatively cases – four classic Lotus speculoosjes lay between your sandwich. But you can not smear or bread with butter, otherwise it does not matter. Pasta speculoos grease and then soak in the coffee is finally be cheaper than the traditional way.”

  • OMG the cashiers at Monoprix!

    The first day I moved to Paris last year (from Barcelona), I went to the Monoprix near St.Michel, where I made the mistake of buying a baguette (it was my first day, give me a break!). The cashier woman took the baguette out of the wrapper, with her I’m sure very clean hands, and proceeded to snap it in two and then put it back.

    I was most disappointed about not getting to walk around with a long baguette under one arm. But honestly, splitting my baguette in two, without asking?

    And then I found all those lovely bakeries near my place and lived happily every after. The End.

  • I felt my blood pressure steadily rising as I read this post – I just about ended up with steam pouring out of my ears (and then the lovely cashier calmed my nerves… always so even-less-expected after the ghastly ones). The spread sounds delicious – I don’t think I met baking within ginger in it that I didn’t like, so the idea of this sounds just brilliant. I’m thinking of whether it would be good as a filling for lemon cake (the reverse of ginger cakes with lemon icing, maybe). But out of the jar is hard to beat, too. Now, to find somewhere that ships this stuff to Australia…

  • Hi David!

    Long time reader, first time writer!

    My Frenchman and I discovered this delicious spread on a quick trip over to Belgium and were instantly hooked. Straight off the spoon – what a guilty pleasure! His family kindly bought us another giant jar, only for my Frenchman to realise – quel horreur! – IT WASNT THE CRUNCHY VERSION. In his opinion, the non-crunchy version is like eating melted plastic. On each successive trip, we could only find the ‘smooth version’. He even searched the ‘pickles’ aisle in the hope that they had been accidentally placed in the wrong shelf. I’m sure you know the look on a French person’s face when they’re about to start a meal and there’s no bread to accompany it – sad, desperate, craving eyes, willing to do anything for a hit – that was him in the Belgian supermarket. And then, praise the food gods!, we found the crunchy version at our local Monoprix, and all was well in the world :-)

    PS If I had seen you on the street with the smooth version, you would have been, like, totally busted ;-)

  • Here in Switzerland, I’ve seen a lady pay for a loaf of bread (3.20 chf) at the supermarket with a 500-franc note… and nobody batted an eyelid. Not that the Swiss are massive on customer service- they just respect money!

    As for the “Elu Saveur de l’Annee”, I have read that it’s a bit of an “arnaque”- see here, although the article I read was a lot more scathing!

  • The first thing I noticed about French grocery store cashiers is that they’re all sitting down. Since American cashiers are all standing, and generally friendly, I think we should make all the French cashiers stand up. (Good luck with that.)

    Once, while my sweet 18-year-old niece was visiting me in Paris, I got food poisoning and I was in great need of my mother’s old remedy of coke sipped over lots of ice. Forget about the ice here – my freezer is half the size of a shoe box and doesn’t freeze. But I sent my niece to the Franprix and asked her to get me two cold coke cans from the refrigerator near the cashier stand. She was standing in the long checkout line (for hours) and when she arrived, the cashier looked at the two coke cans with disgust and looked up at my niece and started yelling at her in french. My niece had no clue what the cashier was saying. She mumbled “Je ne parle pas francais” but that was no help. There were 20 people standing in line behind her and she was mortified. The cashier got up angrily, took the two cokes and disappeared. She returned with a WARM six-pack of coke, slammed it down and rang it up. My niece could only pay and run out the door, fighting back tears. Sigh. To this day, I don’t know what rule she broke by taking two cans out of the fridge, versus buying a warm six-pack but I loathe the thought that I might get sick again and need to buy a cold coke or two.

  • The grocery store scene is the same in Germany. It’s absolutely the worst in the discount stores like Lidl or Plus. You virtually have to shop in pairs so that one of you can pay while the other wildly repacks the purchases into the cart to be bagged at an alternate location. If you aren’t fast enough with the packing (and the cashier is lightening fast), the cashier gets very nasty and will start throwing the next customer’s purchases at you like stones.

    It’s a grocery store stoning.

    And god help you if you try to pay with any copper colored change.

  • Kristie: Crunchy version?? Where do I sign up!

    Lisa: At places like Franprix, many of the cashiers are non-native French people, and I’ve been told they’re not well-paid, although I don’t know that for a fact. At Monoprix, which is owned by Galeries Lafayette, I suspect the people who work there are treated better. So am not sure why they are so surly.

    In Clotilde’s Edible Adventures in Paris, Clotilde sums it up pretty well, saying that French like to be “of service” not “at your service”, and “A snooty of brusque attitude can be the mark of those who feel their job puts them at an inferior social level; acting in this manner is a way for them to reassert their position of power.”

    But, as I mentioned, it drives the French nuts, too. I think that’s why people (like me) prefer to shop at the outdoor markets, where the merchants are friendlier.

    Heidi: Oddly, I was at the Korean market the other day and my purchases were about €7, and I only had a €50. I was expecting a big scenario, but the woman just took my money, and handed me change…like, um, normal.

  • I know I should probably make this relevant to this post, I just wanted to thank you for saving my caramel ice cream the other day with your tutorial. My taste buds (and sugar supply) appreciate it.

    And oh my goodness. I just bought a copy of your book as a present and I couldn’t bring myself to give it away, so I bought two.

  • Mmmm this paste looks really good, I could eat it by the spoonful.

  • I too thought it was strange to see the cashiers sitting…as do the hair dressers…why is that? I worked as a cashier at the now defunct Delchamps in the southern states and had to stand, I enjoyed being able to move around my space on that extra cushy foam pad they put under your feet.
    Delta Airlines hands out the Biscoff Carmel Cookies on their flights and that hooked us, we find them on the US shelves at Walgreens.
    We went to Belgium recently with friends and had to get the Speculoos flavored ice cream, bought a jar of the smooth spread to bring home and gobbled up lots of the fresh baked cookies in this one shop near the main square in Brussels. They had all kinds there….some dipped in dark chocolate were AWESOME! I hope we can find the jars here in London when we run out which will be anytime now.

  • Oh my goodness! This post has just made my day! I am very new to your blog but in the last couple of weeks have checked it daily and thoroughly enjoyed looking over the recipes and hearing all the funny goings on of your life in Paris.

    Inspired by my love of icecream an your amazing flavour combinations for icecream recipes on the site I have just this minute ordered the Cusineart ICE30 and The Perfect Scoop from Amazon.

    I am half dutch and a massive fan of speculaas (as we say in Holland). As I was considering my ice cream maker purchase earlier this morning, my very first thought was that I should try and find a recipe for speculaas ice cream – I had this for the first time in an amazing ice cream shop in Cambodia and have been dreaming of it ever since!

    As I was reading this post I thought it would be the perfect ingredient for ice cream and just read in someone else’s comments that there is a recipe in your book! I am now on a mission to find the paste above somewhere so I can try out the ice cream in my new machine (when it arrives) and will be checking the site daily for an updated speculaas ice cream recipe – although I live in Hong Kong so I’m not holding my breath!

    VERY excited! :-D

  • This post makes me want to take a bunch of flowers (ill keep the spread for myself!!) to my local Franprix in Vincennes.

    I’ve been on a year-long boycott of the cauchemar of a Monoprix up the road, but have fallen in love with the staff at our Franprix. they even let me come back later if i don’t have sufficient cash on me (we live across the street so pop in frequently) or if they can’t break my 50. And they never utter a word of disapproval when I stock up on plastic bags for garbage bags at home!

    Of course the markets are far better for produce etc, but it’s so nice to have a Franprix from the twilight zone to pick up basics and guilty pleasures and make change! They’ll gladly break a 20 into coins for the laundry across the street too! I feel so lucky to have encountered actual customer service 7 days a week- and so conveniently located!

  • I have just been laughing out loud at your description of the visit to local supermarket.
    How I agree, I could recount at least another 10 stories similar to your from our life in the Lot Dept of France.
    But just one.
    We bought a Bonmaman jam from Intermarché and on returning home could not open it. After various weight lifters and strongmen had attempted then various tools we had a closer look. It had not been manufactured correctly and would never open without breaking the lid.
    So queued up at shop (2 different queues) for the assistant to say just break the jar! Not wanting to destroy the jar (as we keep them for our homemade jams) decided to ask for our money back. No, not possible but could exchange for another one. Complete stock all faulty on shelf so bought another make. Whilst in queue to pay watched assistant put back jam onto shelf for sale. Immediate image of little old ladies with hammer “opening their jam”.

  • I find Monoprix such an exercise in civility. Parts of my own blog are dedicated to my hatred of the place:
    hthttp://emmabovary.livejournal.com/301917.html

  • At least you were brave enough and willing enough to go back to Monoprix–nasty cashiers aside. I have a supermarket locally here in MA–Shaws, which is so bad that I have decided never to set foot in it again. Aside from the very bad smells coming from the fish department ( which is enough to turn stomachs), the self-checkout area is poorly designed and runs just as badly. Can’t put anything down and the system complains at everything you do. The regular cashiers are okay, not nasty….but their prices are ridiculous in comparison to the competition in the area.

    Good for you to make the comment about the French healthcare. And you are right–no one ever mentioned it. And going through recent and ongoing mysterious health issues, I would much prefer to have a system of going to get a second opinion without a lot of nonsense. ( Are they competing for my insurance dollars? Probably to build up the bottom line.) I briefly volunteered early with AARP and went to a meeting with Barney Frank–yes, that one, my Congressman. He even wanted a single payer system, but Obama didn’t and that was the end of that. Although the program passed–just like the one in MA, designed by a Republican Governor, Mitt Romney. And everyone goes around talking that we will have a nationalized plan—um,er folks–we don’t have one in MA–everyone just has to buy coverage, and file a form with your annual tax filing to prove that you have coverage. That doesn’t say Obamacare to me.

    As for the Speculoos cream and Nutella–why don’t you try a mix of them? I can get Nutella easily here, but not the other. And they sound like they would go well together–spicy and chocolate. Not unlike any of your early recipes! Spoon licking good!!

  • We cycled Flanders last month and I overdosed on speculos–hotels often had packets of the spread too, for breakfast breads. Many places also had speculos ice cream that was incredible–buy another jar and make that David!

  • Whatever happens, never EVER get behind someone at Monoprix who is buying any kind of clothing item. You will be there until you go gray, and if you are already gray then until you hair falls out (or both).

    I shopped at the Monoprix St-Germain-des-Près for years … the Surly Factor there is quite high indeed. I changed neighborhoods several months ago and have found a Monoprix store that is actually not bad, grocery/service-wise … there are usually no lines and the cashiers are (fairly) friendly and don’t practice “grocery store stoning” as mentioned above (though if there is a French person behind you in line they will get very antsy while the cashier waits to start ringing them up while you are gathering up your last jars of Speculoos).

    I have become too French, though, to share this Monoprix’s location. Bonne journée!

  • I too adore this stuff and stock up on trips to Belgium.

    Did you know there is also a liqueur?

  • Hi David, thanks for another elucidating & entertaining post… just recently I came across speculoos gelato (alas, in London) and it piqued my curiosity. Now that you’ve described it so deliciously, I must check my local Monoprix for a jar. It sounds like a yummy topping to add to the crêpes aux sarrasin that are the standard midnight snack chez moi. The current favorite is with the Clément Faugier vanilla chestnut spread . Of course adding a smidge of chocolat tartiner for good measure always adds to the sweetest of dreams, wouldn’t you agree ? :)

    PS, luckily the cashiers there are polite (gasp!)

  • I received a jar of that stuff from a Belgian friend and I must be one of the few who was underwhelmed – and I love Speculoos cookies. Give me Nutella any day.

  • when I went into Franprix last month, my first trip into a French super market all I could think of was the things you’d mentioned in your book about the staff!

    Maybe it was because it was Saturday so I was being served by a pretty young Saturday worker but the check out girl I was served by was both helpful and happy.

    I should probably avoid going in any Parisian supermarche’s ever again so as to avoid having my dreams that these pretty, helpful and happy staff can be found everywhere!

  • Oh. My. Word. They have that in spread form???!!! I LOVE speculoos!!!! My Dad’s Belgian and I spent my childhood carrying huge bags of those little ladies (I seem to remember they were shaped like little ladies when I was younger) back from the continent after our holidays over there and they’d barely make it the journey home! And now it’s available in an even quicker delivery mechanism? Soooooo stockpiling that on our summer hols this year!

  • Years ago a French friend was visiting me in San Francisco. She and I were at the supermarket and the guy stocking the shelves saw the milk in our cart and said “the other brand is half price today.” My French friend’s jaw just about hit the floor. She couldn’t stop talking about it for the rest of the week.

    Her shock was only surpassed when paying the toll at the Bay Bridge when the toll taker said with a big smile, “You have a great day now!”

  • We were at a dinner party, in Antwerp, two years ago, and were introduced to this amazing spread! Apparently there was some sort of invention contest and this paste was the winner. Sorry I can’t remember the full story.
    When my brother comes home for his annual state-side visit, instead of bringing an empty suitcase – he brings Speculoos Paste and Belgian Chocolates – SCORE!

  • Oh, I live for this stuff. Have you ever tried Ovomaltine spread? They sell it in Switzerland but I don’t know about France: it’s like a malted Nutella with little pieces of malted crunch… I go crazy for it.

  • Back in the ’60s, while attempting to pay for using the public toilet, the employee started yelling at me at me for taking too much time getting the money out of my purse. Well, several people behind me in the line scolded her, saying things like “Can’t you see she’s a tourist?” and “It’s people like you who give France a bad reputation!”

  • Hey, I have a newfound appreciation for the folks that work at our local IGA and Sav-A-Lot.

  • Thank you so much for your very accurate post of monoprix cashiers. I lived in France for two years and the way cashiers glared at me when using ‘big’ bills (20 euros) has left a lasting impression. Now whenever I travel, I am in perpetual fear that people will reject larger bills. I am currently living in Brazil and for the first few weeks I was so scared of using R$20 bills, not to mention R$50…..but it turns out this is only a problem in Paris.
    I also am so tempted by the speculoos spread. Next time I am in France, I will pick some up. The timing of your post was very appropriate. I just made speculoos for the first time in Brazil (it was a bit challenging to find all the ingredients.. but the cookies came out delicious!). http://www.hipsterswhoeat.com Now that I read all the comments about speculoos ice cream…that is definitely next on my list.

  • Right – now I know what to look for in the Intermarché next week! It sounds just my sort of thing. And also Madame Loic, if they sell her…. Oh, I can’t wait – haven’t been to France since November, far too long!

    It always amuses me that America, the so-called “Land of the Free” is actually the Land of Personal Service that goes beyond anything you’ll find in Europe.

  • David, your post could be written about Italian supermarkets, or Italian sales people, or Italian bus drivers. One of the first things I noticed and loved after moving to the States was the politeness of everyone servicing the public. Being from Italy, where the cashiers don’t even look at you when you hand them the money, I was kind of taken aback and annoyed by every one asking me how I was doing, like it was any of their business, but I got used to it and it makes a much more pleasant experience. Now that I have lived in the States 18 years, I hate it when I go back to my country and experience the rudeness again. I think that part of the problem is that the costumers are very rude to the people behind the counter, if you start smiling at them and making small talk, most of them melt away and smile back, and some look at you like you are on drugs.

    Thanks for the chuckle!

  • You can order the Speculoos a Tartiner at shop.belgianshop.com

    There is a $50 minimum order, but they have both the smooth and CRUNCHY version of the Speculoos. I am all over that!

  • My biggest story when I returned to the Washingon, DC area from visiting my friend on my first trip to California, (San Jose, 30+ yrs ago!) was how a cashier at the local grocery store exchanged a product I was buying for another from the sale bin that was $2.00 cheaper..of her own initiative! I was so shocked! The cashiers in the stores in the DC metro area weren’t rude exactly, but they didn’t acknowledge your presence, ever! The experience was like the day dream one has while waiting in line, hoping for the kind of service that would be ideal, but usually is not! It was a double-blinker!

    This past Mothers Day, I was at See’s Candy to purchase a gift. The woman behind the counter was noticeably abrupt and remote, not usual for a See’s employee. There were only two clients in the store, so there was no rush but I felt I was being hurried along (God forbid she would have had a cattle prod..or a taser gun!). At the checkout, I noticed her accent was.. er, European..and I thought of your tales of the cashiers at your local Monoprix. It was an “Ah Ha” moment.

  • Marlowe may be too French to share her Monoprix location, but I’m not! The people at the Monoprix on Ledru-Rollin (which I hope is not your Monoprix, David?) have never been anything but friendly to us. Even the people stocking the shelves have been helpful.

    Of course my French is pretty bad, so maybe they have taken pity or feel it’s not worth the effort to be mean as I might not understand anyway. Why insult someone if it’s going over their head. We lived in New Jersey for three years, and I have never encountered ruder sales clerks anywhere. Anyone who thinks Monoprix employees are rude ought to try a Pathmark in North Jersey.

    Now some of the people at a few of the fancy cheese shops–different kettle of fish. But I love their cheese, so must endure.

    We had American friends here last week whose entire carry-ons are filled with Speculoos spread. There will be a quest to find it in the States when they get home.

  • you’ve astounded me david – i cant believe social programs and public companies are more efficient in france than public companies (in greece, this is so exactly the opposite)

    that speculoos pate sounds wonderful – we can get speculoos biscuits here, and they are often given with a cup of coffee at the many cafes we have in greece, but i have never seent eh paste – since globalisation took over most of the food market, we have been able to get a lot of foreign products in greece, so i must look into this one next time i visit my high-end supermarkets (thankfully, supermarket assistnats arent that rude here)

  • Hello David,

    I think they have some regular training on “how to be rude to our customers” in Monoprix even in Neuilly sur Seine ;-).
    Hope to see you on Wednesday @ your book signing;

    Have a nice cloudy day,
    Ewa

  • And..saying all this came out from a Flanders TV show

  • and now i’m in search of a homemade recipe for it. that stuff sounds mighty tasty.

  • What a funny story! It makes me feel better that French supermarkets carry a product similar to Wonderbread. We’re not all perfect :)

  • After moving to Holland my kids begged me to buy speculaaspasta because their friends bring it to school on sandwiches for lunch. It’s not my cup of tea, but it is an impressive feat to make a spread that tastes almost exactly like the cookie. I tried to describe it to an American friend and said it’s as if Nabisco made a creamy spread that tasted exactly like Oreos.

  • The cookies are called Biscoff that apparently make this spread. You can buy the cookies on Amazon.com and here is a link for a blog that attempted a homemade version: http://seitanismymotor.com/2009/08/28/psp/

    Here’s the link for the US company that sells Biscoff including the spread (but sadly only individual portion cups): http://www.biscoff.com

    Or here’s a link for Waffle Cafe and they ship anywhere in the world: http://wafflecafe.com/store/index.php

  • Per Heidi’s comment — I saw an Enquête Spéciale about how so many of those “seals of approval” are simply marketing ploys. Pay money to the organization and they’ll call you the “Taste [discovery] of the Year”. David’s Seal Of Approval, on the other hand, actually means something.

    I returned to Paris this month with firm intentions to eat slender and this does not help! Speculoos à Tartiner, Crême Salidou — how will you torment us next??

  • Hilarious. I would never judge what’s in your shopping bag as I’m the poster child for contradiction. I started a two week dairy, meat and sugar cleanse on Sat. My friend asked me to dinner at Pizzeria Mozza and I said, “But of course,” and my cleanse went out the window:)

  • ahh crème de spec. I can’t believe how long it took the french to think this one up, considering how ridiculously popular the cookies are. my french friends are obsessed (as am I) and often beg me to make pancakes because they think the two go particularly well together….
    however, one friend consumed the whole of a jar in an afternoon, and now claims she no longer likes the taste.

  • Laura: Yes, people are quite unfriendly to the salespeople as well (unlike at the outdoor markets, where people are more friendly to each other.) It’s sort of a cycle that perhaps needs to be broken.

    Carly: I think the product is Belgian : )

    Cyndy: That’s true that the people at that Monoprix are actually pleasant. I think the Saint-Paul one must have something in the air that makes the people particularly snide with customers.

    Laura: A friend from Switzerland was in San Francisco, going in to the subway, and he didn’t know where to buy tickets. So he asked a person wearing a Muni uniform. They guy looked at him, and said, “Can’t you see I’m off-duty, assh*le?”

    That was some welcome to America!

    Lucie: That sounds amazing. Must get some of that, too!

  • For ‘Tony in London’ and ‘Lisa Wines’, the cashiers in Finland also sit – there is nothing strange about it. Each country has their own customs.

  • Ah, David, I just knew we were of like minds! I have a jar of speculoos paste in my cupboard and also a number of jars of dark chocolate (pur) paste from Albert Heijn in Amsterdam. I brought home cookies every week and my husband delighted in passing them out at work. I think it is funny that Europeans turn up their noses at the thought of peanut butter, because the one cookie that everyone here disliked was filled with chocolate hazelnut paste. Currently the workforce is enjoying stroopwaffels with the dark chocolate paste and whipped cream. Don’t blame me, I just cart the stuff home.
    Now that I am finally back in Paris after a year and a half hiatus, I have been checking your blog daily and thrilled to actually be able to try the recipes and restaurants again. One of my first stops was at L’As du Falafel and my second was at Le Nemrod for the salade oeuf mollet. I think the waiter also works at Monoprix because he REFUSED TO WAIT ON US. I read somewhere that Le Nemrod is under new ownership, but this is ridiculous. I need my lardons!

  • Here in Germany we get these cookies too, specially during the months before CHristmas. I love them and they are called Spekulatius here.
    But I´ve never heard of the spread. I´ll have to get a jar next time I´m in Paris.

  • I love France and I love some French people, but every time I come home from a trip there, I conclude that they are THE MOST miserable, cranky people on the face of the earth. I think they wake up, eat a lemon and then walk around all day concentrating on keeping their faces in a permanent scowl.

  • Hi everyone,

    I can recommend a good nickname for Monoprix: “Mono-prout”.

    Prout = infantile word for ‘to fart’

    :-)

  • I could swear that we are on the same cosmic wavelength. I just, two days ago, went to the Biscoff website and saw this spread. I also have a packet (only 2, boohoo) of Biscoff cookies sitting on my night table, pilferred from a recent Delta flight. Where can I buy these treasures, other than from the Biscoff website? I’m thinking Cost Plus World Market. This would be just the type of product they would have. Hmmm. This is the second or third time this has happened where you post just the product I was thinking about. Last time was when you posted about Fouquet. I love your stories and can imagine them so clearly!

  • I recently ordered a few jars of Speculoos from Belgium (after enjoying speculoos-covered waffles from the Waffle Truck in New York way too much and too often), and the ingredients simply say “speculoos.” Straightforward, I guess!

  • Oooh…last fall, we found some Gingerbread butter at William-Sonoma. It was mostly dairy, but it tasted just like gingersnaps and caramel. Mmmmm. I wonder if the Biscoff spread is similar!

  • The name of the paste is speculoos but the name of the dutch (not belgium) cookie is speculaas. In Holland it’s a cookie they eat with hot chocolate and especially on december 5th when it’s the feast of Sinterklaas, the dutch version of Santa Claus.

  • A French lady once asked me to hold her place in line while she ran to get something she’d forgotten. Being American, I gladly held her place. C’est normal. When another man came to get in line behind me, I had the courtesy to tell him that there was already someone else, hence the UFO shopping basket in line behind me. He promptly scoffed and scooted it to the side with his shoe. Rude and gross all in one. When the lady came back, he started ranting and raving so I went ahead and told her to go ahead of me. I waited an extra 5 minutes, big deal -and the crotchety old guy still had to wait for both of us to make it through the line. So satisfying!

  • maybe it’s the age (and subsequent bitterness) of the caissiers at the bigger monoprixs. i do most of my shopping at a daily monop bd de sébastopol (near the chatelet métro) and all the caissiers are student-age and on the whole, delightful, two of them even smiling (gasp) and asking how i am (double gasp).
    and i’ve tried that spéculoos pâte à tartiner – it’s REALLY good and about 600 calories / 100 grams.
    most importantly, my cheerful daily monop has started selling PHILADELPHIA CREAM CHEESE!!!

  • I bought a jar when I was in Paris last month but haven’t tried it yet, was thinking about swirling it into ice cream? I thought all these stories about Monoprix were maybe exaggerated until I visited the one near Montparnasse and I was told I couldn’t buy the apple I wanted. I went the the cashier right by the fruit and veg but maybe buying just one piece of fruit was not allowed, who knows.

  • Ah yes, the crunchy version! It’s even better. If you don’t believe me, believe Allison: she’s posted about the original about a year ago (http://bit.ly/speculaas) and inspired by your excellent post today, David, she’s picked up the glove and posted a follow-up about the crunchy version: http://bit.ly/crunchyspeculaas :)

    Beware that, once you make the switch to the crunchy version, you’ll be hooked and there’s no going back to the original! In our house I’ve had to resort to smearing the original paste on my bread and sprinkling it with crunched-up speculoos cookies, because Allison doesn’t let me touch her crunchy paste stash – it’s too hard to get our hands on in Portland!

  • Ann: I was once in line at Le Grand Épicerie, and this woman came running over and said, “I was here. I just had to run back and get something else.” I was so stunned that I didn’t say anything. Which I think is what they count on!

    rouquinricain: That’s actually my strategy when I go into places like France Telecom or whatever—I look for the young people to help me, as they’re not jaded (yet) and usually happy(-sh) to help.

    Erica: Well, the French themselves say they are the biggest complainers.

    Which, I guess, is why I fit right in! ; )

  • I live in Toulouse and absolutely love your blog! …tomorrow morning I am going to Monoprix to get me some of that Speculoos spread!!!

  • I definitely agree that the Monoprix cashiers are as bad as you say, and as much as I would like to boycott them I cannot because the other options are worse with a smaller selection. I have noticed that the French women around me are pretty nasty to the cashiers and this usually quiets them down and keeps them in check….however I bet they are double nasty to the next person who dares to be meek or civil. It is not in my nature to be mean, so I just avoid eye contact and try to be impersonal. However….if they lash out at me, I am ready to give it right back to them. It’s a ‘chien mange chien’ world here and I prefer to eat than be eaten!

    See you on Wednesday at WHSmith :)

  • the cashiers here are very very friendly, if you forget something they will go and get it, disappearing within the store while you wait forever at the checkout. I won’t complain about that anymore…. seems to me it could be worse.

  • Aaaaaaaand I just put 2 jars of it in my virtual cart at the Biscoff website. The set is 15% off! How can I resist??? I wonder if I can add it to a Swiss meringue buttercream?

  • Ah, the Monoprix cashiers. Un vrai poème! Being French and forty y-o, I’ve seen quite a few rude supermarket cashiers, but the Monoprix ones take the cake. Call me when you want to strangle them, I’ll hold their arms for you (okay, internet police, just chill, it is just a figure of speech)

    The Monoprix on Avenue d’Italie is so bad, the cashiers so slow, and rude, that I decided to boycott it – it takes me less time to walk all the way to Place d’Italie, 15 minutes away, to do my grocery shopping and come back, than go to the Monoprix that is what? 50 meters from my building?

    I can’t wait for the day when those nasty women are all replaced by self check-out. Champagne!

  • I too just ordered 4 jars (I’m trusting you here), they were 15% off and then then an extra 50% off the 2nd item, so how could I pass it up? No need to deal with cashiers or trying to hunt it down in stores! thank you for the recommendation.

  • The fact that cashiers here in the U.S. are generally pleasant makes me feel somewhat better about the the other fact – that I am nowhere near a place that would sell me Speculoos spread. The cashier at my local market threw a peppermint patty (!) into my bag this morning after I had paid for my groceries and then told me to have a good day.

  • Oh, how I laughed! Crunchy is definitely the way to go! I couldn’t even get kids to like the smooth one…And having lived in Holland for a decade and now living in France, I can confirm that Speculaas is Dutch, and SpeculOOs is simply the Belgian spelling. Belgium and Holland were one country not that long ago, and they still share a language, more or less.

    My supermarket story: One of the first times I’d shopped at ‘my’ small Super U, I discovered to my horror that I didn’t have my wallet on me. The cashier smiled at me and said: “Don’t worry about it. You can pay the next time you come around.”

    With that, she won a shocked but loyal customer. I paid the next day. (NB: this experience may be dismissed because it didn’t happen in Paris, even if it did happen in France.)

  • We are going to France in October and have rented an apartment. I was actually planning on doing a little grocery shopping at Monoprix so we don’t have to eat out so often. Your post made my laugh out loud! I thought the checkers in NYC were surly. I’m just wondering, don’t they take debit cards/credit cards? I don’t want to be the foreigner trying to figure out the local currency while someone elses goods are being thrown into mine because I can’t bag fast enough as I’m still trying to pay.

  • I’m a bit surprised when you say your local Monoprix doesn’t carry plain yogurts. I’ve never seen a French supermarket that didn’t carry yaourts nature. I’ve been to that Saint-Paul Monoprix in the past and they did have them. Maybe you’re not looking in the right section?
    Aside from that, your local Monop is indeed a nasty one, and always has been, maybe because the cashiers are in the basement and never see the light of the day.

    And, me, I’ve been really shocked when I first moved to the US to discover that cashiers had to stand up and to bag your groceries for you. I hate having my grocery bagged, I prefer balancing the weight in various bags myself, and I’ve never managed to have a US cashier NOT double-bagging even when I request it.
    And, I feel sorry for the poor cashiers who are standing on their feet all day long.
    Cultural differences…

  • It sounds like France has never heard of the saying, “The customer is always right”, and neither has Mexico. What’s with this? Do they want our business, or not?

    Today I returned a bag of salt that was priced 12 pesos on the shelf. When I got home and checked my receipt, I saw I had been charged 54 pesos. I know, I should have checked the receipt right on the spot. Anyway, I went back today, and you would have thought I was trying to hold up the store, the way management reacted. The 12 peso price was still on the shelf, which I showed to the manager, who couldn’t have cared less. Thirty minutes later, I had my money back, with bad feelings on both sides.

    I did some shopping, and when I checked out, the manager came up to the cash register, asked the teller to step aside, did some fancy finger work on the register, and presented me with my bill. I know she got her money back.

  • Oh, this was funny! And I’m going to have to look for the Speculoos creme at my local Euro supermarket (it’s small but I have one here in SoCal!) Loved the bit about getting busted for Mallomars or hot dogs in the supermarket. And then laughed all the harder when the embedded advert at the end of the post (for me at least) was for Totinos Pizza Rolls…too funny!

  • “So I don’t strangle you.” That’s great! I wonder if I’ll ever be brave enough to spend an entire day saying what I’m thinking? Probably not a good idea, even on my best days.

    I currently live in fear of running into a customer at the supermarket. My wife and I have a gourmet shop selling the essentials: cheese, wine, chocolate & bread. Every now and then I get a pretty powerful craving for frozen burritos.

  • I love your blog, and the way you write these little adventures we all had one day in Paris. But, I just want to add that there are a LOT of differences between Paris and “la province” (at all levels: prices, attitudes, habits, clothes, etc). It’s particularly true when it comes to: getting fresh fruits/vegetables/meat (so much easier in my 6k inhabitants hometown), meeting friendly cashiers (same), happy faces in the street (every person born and raised outside of Paris has been shocked by how depressed and angry people look in here…), etc
    I guess you’re aware of that, but I just wanted to be fair to 80% of the French population :)

  • I just came from the supermarket.
    I was short maybe 5-7 cents.
    The (standing) cashier said, “No problem” and smiled.
    This keeps happening over and over of late, ever since we entered the recession.
    I guess they’re happy with whatever they can get!
    Last trip I ran around like a maniac look for your chocolate nouours David.
    I finally found them at Franprix and gobbled them up before I could do a post or take a picture…
    I LOVE speculas cookies so I’m deeply troubled about the spell you’ve cast – all those semi-licked spoons..

  • Putain de delicieux! It tastes like a creamy teddygram spread.

  • how about mixing the two: the speculoos and the nutella…:-)??? In the Dutch supermarkets from the ‘ duo penotti’ brand (that mixes great hazelnut-chocolate spread a la nutella with a nice tasting vanilla-y white chocolate spread) there is the variation ‘ with speculoos’ now: chocolate, hazelnut, white AND speculoos…..YUM

  • I am one of the 4 reading your blog! I love your writing and your stories. And….my entire household (and several neighbors) are addicted to your “crack” cookies! Keep on telling us about your journey!

  • What I despise most about the supermarker checkers is the chatter with the incessant chatter with other checkers and baggers. Of course, in this constant stream, I invariably miss their first request for my savings card or payment. Small stuff, I know, but I really don’t want to listen to them natter on about their prom date, I just want them to put my peanut butter in the darned bag!

    cindy

  • Great post and I see that I’m following another one of my favorite bloggers…Hi Carol.
    I’ll have to order this from the Biscoff site, which I just realized is the supplier of the Biscoff cookie that I always get on Delta flights for my daughter.

  • About Romain’s response to your experience with trying to get change from the cashier, did you not want to kill him? Why do people feel like they need to find a solution to your problem when all you want to do (first) is vent, vent, vent.

  • I feel your pain on the misery of dealing with French grocery store cashiers, but I can tell you that I actually prefer them to the weary programmed “have nice day” clerks in some American stores. They are even required to smile by management fiat, it’s grotesque.

  • This was so well written. I smiled, laughed and read seriously too. Fabulous. I am heading to France next month wondering how I am going to naviagate the cashiers ordering great food and drinking great wine.

  • I think it’s that usually retail clerks in Paris like to make you suffer. The health care system is rated #1 by the World Health Organization. I came to Paris by myself, enjoying being there by myself, and then that night I slipped on a wet grate on the street, landed on my shoulder, breaking my humerus bone in two places. All the people at Hotel Dieux Hopital were kind, efficient, and put up with my Sparench-germitalian language skills. They gave me a prescription for an immoblizer splint. I went to two pharmacies before I was told, dismissively that I needed an orthopedic pharmacy. That was way across town, a long bus ride away. Found it, stood in line for a while, and showed the clerk my paper. She looked in the drawer, turned and said, “we don’t have your size” and turned and walked away. I didn’t know what she said and made her repeat. No help. I was in pain. I hated all Parisian pharmacies at that moment, but had to persevere. Walked in to the next one, almost in tears, and the woman looked at me, looked at the prescription and said “we don’t have it, but I can order it for you and it will be here tonight.” I think she said it in French and because she was so nice, I understood her. So I met my friend at Luxembourg gardens train station, we had dinner at Les Papilles, and then took a taxi across town to the pharmacy, where as promised, was my splint. They even helped me put it on. Had a marvelous time for the next two weeks, encountering nice and nasty people all over Paris. Glad I know it’s not about me personally, happens to everyone.

  • Dammit dammit dammit! I saw this exact spread in Antwerp and meant to go back to the store for it at the end of my stay, but stupid other things got in the way and I didn’t and now, David, I’m going to go curl up in a ball and CRY.