I can’t say I ask all that much of a kitchen timer. All I want is something that if I set it for, say, eight minutes, that after that period of time has elapsed, it was alert me that the period of time I set it for has elapsed. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out how to set the timer on my new oven.
I have a personal, some might say – slightly unnatural – relationship with each and every timer I’ve ever used. When I was baking professionally, a Minute Minder was there all the time – it’s slightly elongated ring was the constant muzak of my life. But it wasn’t annoying because the gentle *ding* didn’t jolt you out of baking reality, but was just part of the music accompanying the meditative process of baking a batch of cookies.
I can’t wrap my head around those new-fangled electronic timers, which require a degree in computer programming to set for ten minutes. With a Minute Minder, you didn’t need to take an aptitude test before using it – you just turned the knob, then it did was it was supposed to do. And that was that.
So I was deeply distressed to learn the my favorite timer had undergone a transformation, and not for the better. Although I normally believe everything I read online, even though the reviews for it have become not enthusiastic, I refused to believe that anyone could talk trash about my timer. And last time I was in the states, I picked one up.
And the other day, I finally took it out of the package to take it for a spin with a tray of chocolate chip cookies. I mixed up a nice batch, ate the required 10-25% of the dough before I scooped them out, then put them in the oven and went about doing other things, relying on the trusty timer to alert me when they’d be done. Normally I watch anything in the oven like a hawk, timer or no timer, but darn it, I put my faith in my brand-new Minute Minder. And if you can’t trust a Minute Minder, well, what can you trust?
Needless to say, I got burned. There was no ding, none of that familiar ticking – nothing. I gave it a few more spins, turning the knob past the 15 minute mark, as usual, and letting her go. Then – once again – nothing.
I know a number of people like to use the timer on their smartphones, but I guess I’m getting crotchety in my old age because I’m having a hard time accepting change. Please come back MM, because I refuse to believe our time has come, and gone.