Results tagged Monoprix from David Lebovitz

Eating Out & About in New York City

empire state buildingshake shack burger
shake shack french frieskorean dumplings nyc

I was recently conversing with someone about what excites (and stuns) French people when they come to the United States. Supermarkets are always interesting places to go; last time I took Romain to one in Florida, he came out and said “Pas de stress!” because shopping in a French supermarket can be an exercise in frustration. (Which is putting it mildly.)

welcome to bank

Someone suggested that I take him to a bank, because there is no place more stressful, or more unwelcoming, than a bank in France. I was recently having a discussion about how distrustful my bank seems to be of customers and a friend stunned me by saying that banks have so many rules and blockades in place because “…you shouldn’t be trusted with your own money.”

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10 Goofy Foods You’ll Find in a French Supermarket

mes 4 croissants opening croissant

1. Mes 4 Croissants

Poppin’ fraîche has gone global and even with over 1200 bakeries in Paris, why would anyone bother walk all the way across the street to get a fresh, buttery croissant in the morning, that only costs 90 centimes, when you can simply unroll a package of doughy crescents and never slip out of that comfy peignoir de bain? For all you lazy types out there, I took a bullet for you and tried them out.

And speaking of taking bullets, when I peeled back the first layer of the package, the dough exploded with a startlingly loud pop, which so shocked me that I jumped as the dough quickly expanded as it burst from its tight confines. I almost had a crise cardiaque.

rolling croissants

The ingredient list was nearly as wordy as the instructions but the upside is that I learned a few words to add to my French vocabulary, such as stabilisant and agent de traitement de la farine. (Margarine, I already knew). As they baked, my apartment took on the oddly alluring scent of the métro stations equipped with “bakeries” that “bake” croissants this way, whose buttery odors may – or may not – be a result of some sort of traitement.

unrolling croissant dough  croissants

One thing I often have to remind people is just because something is in French, like croissant or macaron (or elementary school lunch menus), doesn’t mean it’s a good version of that item. Just like one could conceivably call a hot pocket of dough with some warm stuff in the middle a calzone, after ripping off an end of one of the soft, spongy crescents, in the words of the late, great Tony Soprano..with all due respects, I’ll stick with the croissants pur beurre from my local bakery. Even if I have to put on something other than my bathrobe in the morning to get them.

Continue Reading 10 Goofy Foods You’ll Find in a French Supermarket…

Biscoff Spread (Speculoos à Tartiner)

speculoos cream

I don’t have conclusive proof, but I’m going to say it anyways: the cashiers at my local Monoprix are perhaps the least pleasant people in all of France. I once needed to use their photo machine for some documents, which required a €5 note. So after waiting in two lines, asking two different cashiers to change a €20, they both refused. So I went downstairs to the supermarket and bought some groceries, which totaled something like €9.68.

When the cashier handed me back a €10, I politely requested 2 fives, mentioning that I needed one to use their photo machine. When she refused, I asked her why. And she snapped back, “Because I don’t have any change!” So I walked to the end of the counter where I could get a pretty clear view of her her cash box brimming with bills. Even though she had a sizable wad of €5 notes stacked up in there, if I wanted to change, I had to go back upstairs to the one particular register that is equipped to give change.

After waiting behind four customers, which I won’t tell you how long that took, when it was my turn, I handed over the €10, asking for 2 fives.

When she said, “What for?”…it took every gram of patience for me not to say, “So I don’t strangle you.”

Continue Reading Biscoff Spread (Speculoos à Tartiner)…

salade Nicoise

Ah, la salade niçoise

One of the classics of French cooking and one of my favorite things to dig into sitting on the terrace of a café, dreaming idling away the afternoon by the sparkling Mediterranean. But really, who wouldn’t want to dig into a big, fresh salad bursting forth with the flavors of the sunny French Riviera, no matter where you live?

There’s always much controversy about the salade niçoise regarding what’s authentic and what’s not.

Does one use fresh or canned tuna?

Is there a bed of lettuce underneath or does one leave it out?

Are there olives in it?

Boiled potatoes or rice?

Should it be mixed or composed?

And although I’m not convinced about artichokes, there’s folks out there who swear by them.

I’m not really sure if there’s a definitive answer as to what’s correct.

But I’m pretty sure about one thing.

This ain’t it…

salade nicoise




(See inside the can.)

Chocolate Tasting

The problem around here is that I buy chocolate in 5 kilo, about 11#, boxes and every afternoon, and sometimes (ok…make that ‘often’…) first thing in the morning, I dig my hand deep in the box and pull out a few pistols every time I walk by. People have the impression that I eat chocolate all the time, every day. And although I usually deny it, I would have to admit it’s definitely true.

Except last night when I was flossing, part of one of my teeth flew out and plinked onto the floor. So today it’s like eating and talking with a thumb tack in my mouth, and I’m having a rare, chocolate-free day.

Who knew it was possible to floss to hard? Does that make me a ‘power-flosser’?

(When I called my dentist, I was stumped trying to figure out the verb ‘to floss’ in French. Ça existe?)

chocolatepalets.jpg

Anyhow, in addition to the little palets of dark chocolate I’m always dipping into, I also have tons of unusual chocolate bars around here I’ve been amassing over the past few months.

Many I pick up when traveling, and some I get sent by companies wanting me to try them out. I happily sample them all and love to find something new or especially unusual. Often I taste them systematically by sitting down, snapping off a corner and savoring the flavors. As I roll and chew the chocolate around in my mouth, I ponder the different characteristics, noting origin and the various flavors: Sweet, fruity, acidic, roasty, bitter, citrusy, woodsy—all the various tastes we find in chocolate.

And other times, I’m not so good and I rip off the covering and start gnawing away at the chocolate until it’s nothing but an empty wrapper with a few crumbs of chocolate left. I never did well in science since I’m lacking in patience.

So during the next few weeks, it’s your turn to be patient.

Continue Reading Chocolate Tasting…

And It’s Only Wednesday

So far, this week…

…I ran over a not-quite-yet-dead pigeon by accident with my shopping cart.

…My mobile phone died.

…My ATM card expired.

The bank told me to wait for the replacement card.

Which was sent in May.

…My credit card was cancelled, which I learned while at the cashier with a overloaded cart at BHV.

There were thirty people behind me. And they were not happy.

…I’m almost completely out of money here.

…I got a letter from the IRS that said I underpaid my taxes, and owe more.

Plus interest.

…I got a letter from the State of California that said I underpaid my taxes, and owe more.

Plus interest.

…The cash wire transfer paperwork that I filled out when I was last in the US was incorrectly prepared by the person at the bank.

So they told me I have to go back to the branch, in California, and re-do it.

…A French friend explained that iced drinks make you very sick, since they cool down your stomach too much.

(Er, I suppose traveling a few minutes through my digestive tract won’t have any effect on warming up the cold liquid.)

…I got falling down drunk at my friend Olivier’s last night.

(He has air-conditioning and my original ruse to to pretend I was drunk and had to spend the night, but then I really did get drunk and was worried about making a fool of myself.)

…I was giving myself a haircut and my hair clippers inexplicably quit halfway through.

I would go to the BHV and get another pair, but my credit card was cancelled.

And my hair looks a little funny.

…There’s a new movie with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock coming.

…My absolute favorite olive oil shop in Paris, which has the best selection of oils, is closing for good this Saturday.

(All oils are on sale, 30-50% off, at Allicante, 26 blvd Beamarchais.)

…When I went to pick up my sheets at the cleaners, I found out they’re closed until the end of August.

All my sheets are there.

…World War III appears to have started.

…George W. Bush, the most powerful person in the world, has over two years left on his term.

…My manuscript for my book is due on Friday and my Mac feels like it’s on fire.

…The temperature in my apartment hasn’t dipped below 100 degrees in over a week.

The government says“…go into a store for 2-3 hours a day, to cool down.”

( Gee, I wonder if Monoprix would mind if I set up my laptop there?)

…I have a canker sore.

…I feel another one coming.

…I made Peanut Brittle, and left it to cool by the open window…

peanutbrittle.jpg

…then I came home later and found a pigeon feather next to it.