A Lost Weekend

I’m a deadline for a project and am panicking about it.

So…being a world-class procrastinator—what did I do this weekend?

hosed

A. I scrubbed the hose of my showerhead.

Inside the Boar Sausage

B. I contemplated the safety of a wild boar sausage some Roman friends brought me. There were some mysterious things in there that I couldn’t cut through as well, but I’ll spare you that footage. So far I’ve eaten one-third of it and nothing’s happened to me.

Yet.

I Hate Soup

C. I realized that I really like to make soup.

But later remembered that I really don’t like eating it.

hammock

D. I decided that instead of going to a conference in April that I should spent that time surfing and eating sushi in Hawaii.

dough

E. I made a big batch of Heidi’s incredible Mesquite Chocolate Chip Cookies. I will blame her entirely for being late with my manuscript by using that French stand-by—”C’est pas ma fault.”

When my career plunges into oblivion, you can blame these cookies.

hair

F. I cut my hair on the roof. After too many mauvaises expériences getting my haircut in Paris, I realize that it’s impossible to get a decent men’s haircut around here. (Why is that?) I suppose I could pay 110€ and try my luck at one of those fancy places. But this way, I know I’m spreading my DNA around town which ensures my place in l’histoire de Paris…since I surely won’t ever be able to get into Père Lachaise.

So if you were eating out on some lovely café terrace this weekend, enjoying the sun, and a hair-ball floated into your croque Monsieur or salade d’Auvergne…um…sorry.

prunes

G. I ate a couple of prune-stuffed prunes and photographed them for like three hours in all sorts of angles and light. Then tried to decide if I could write a story for the blog about it. Then re-decided that maybe I’d written enough about prunes before and that no one would be interested and that even though they looked pretty cool cut neatly in half, they also looked vaguely testicular and that I should just forget about it and get back to work.

Which I’m going to do right now.

I promise.


Categories:

Whining

51 comments

  • I have a project due tomorrow and I’m currently completely procrastinating. Homemade bagels or potato pieroji anyone?

  • Is that ALL you did? :) Surely you’re leaving a few things out. I think D) sounds like the best choice.

  • Well, I guess I need to invite you here for several reasons.
    1) I give great haircuts or my guy Piero is cheap and fab
    2) my shower hose is faultlessly clean and the shower is a Jacuzzi massage shower (try Bref spray on a sponge.)
    3) I like to eat soup but don’t very much like to make it. It seems like a lot of work for something that disappears so fast.
    4) salsicce di cinghiale is dead common here
    5) I am not tempted by your cookies but I have found a chocolate dessert I really like
    6) the prunes? Meh.

  • ah, la procrastination active, you seem to be damn good at it, en effet ! :)

    About thoses prunes, i’d love to see what’s inside and the batch of pictures. Actually, i’d love to read articles from you about techniques of good food photography :) (maybe you did that before, i must admit i went to the archives but not all of them)

  • David, you shouldn’t make me laugh so hard this early in the morning.

  • I didn’t really think testicular so much as I did dead, bloated mice when I saw those prunes in your hand. Blegh.

  • you are hilarious and your hair ball pic, quite entertaining… and unique.I got my hair cut down south in Limousin, I don’t know why, I was sure they’d give me a mullet, but in the end they ended up charging me 30 Euro to cut a straight line, something I could have done myself. Instead, I ended up flying to Rome to get a decent, yet over priced cut there…

    bon courage, David!!

  • Ah yes, I’ve been there and done that. Well, not exactly those methods, but yes… it’s so much easier to find other things to do other than the writing that must be done. Have a child, David, that will provide you with all the excuses you need! And you can probably share some prune stuffed prunes with them, too, if you train them (the child) right.

  • I so hear you about the soup. I get all excited to make it and then it just sits in the freezer using up all my tupperware.

  • Jenne: Put it in Zip-loc bags. That makes it much easier to toss out later!

    Lacey: You mean I have to go to Rome for a haircut? What if I run into more of that sausage there?

    Christy: If it looked like that to me, I wouldn’t be holding it in my hand. : )

    jessica: Sorry, but I’ve passed what the French call ‘andropause‘, which curiously, is the male counterpart of menopause.

    Thank goodness, because I’ve seen first-hand what those prunes can do to adults—no thanks for feeding them to children.

  • That is some ambitious slacking. I just read blogs. Like, uh… now.

  • David — I just scrubbed my showerhead (with decalcaire) this weekend too, and started writing about it. Never done it before. Uggh/arrgh! It’s flowing worse now. I was told to use vinegar or the store bought stuff.

    Anyway, vive la procrastination…

  • Deadlines only exist, I think, to give us the opportunity to clean/organize weird things in our house that otherwise don’t get our attention. There’s nothing like a due date to inspire me to neatly cable tie all the cords to my electronics or create a modular storage system for socks and unmentionables from shoeboxes.

    Lifehacker has a lot of good posts on productivity that I find make me feel all “I can do it!!” as opposed to “Why did I do this to myself again?” Here”s a recent one on “Project Kill Days” (which, despite the clunky name, sounds like it might actually help one approach the stated goal of making your day 3 times as productive). Another on working within Parkinson’s Law and using discrete work periods to keep yourself on task. I can’t say I’m always able to work these ways but sometimes just reading the articles is enough to convince me to try to get back on task.

  • Try Studio 203 on Boulevard Vincent Auriol, Paris 13th Arrondissement, Metro Place d’Italie/or 27 bus. Phone number is 01 42 16 83 32. They don’t take appointments, though, it’s walk in only. The owner, Vincent, does a nice man’s cut for about 45 euro (at least 2 years ago that was the price.) My hubby went to him when we lived there. I went to Min, who has moved on. If you can get it out of him where he went, my Parisian friends would be truly grateful. That little Vietnamese man was a genius!!! But Vincent is good for men, cheap, and it’s not hard to get in. Just don’t go to the Asian lady with the waist length hair.

  • and I’m procrastinating by coming and reading your blog…..ah it comes full circle.

  • Rats – so does that mean no New Orleans for you? I’ll miss you in April…

  • I’m afraid that now you’re going to have to talk about the prune-stuffed prunes. This sounds rather intriguing…. and delicious!

  • I just spent yesterday doing nothing and yet doing a lot. So don’t think about it all as procrastination… but accomplishing the little things in life. You were simply clearing the clutter….to make way for greater inspiration….or some bull@*#! like that.

  • There is a restaurant in Lye whose name I really need. I ate there last year and did the unthinkable of not jotting down the name. Would you mind taking a trip down there? It’s only 3 hours away from Paris. You might make it back on time for your project if you leave now! :)

  • Hooray! It’s nice to know that I’m not the only person in the universe who is apathetic towards soup. When I’m sick, I can deal with creamy chicken noodle, and when it’s really cold I can do creamy tomato with grilled cheese…

    but that’s it. Really. I’d rather my dinner be food, rather than a sometimes-chunky beverage. >_>

  • andropause??? Are you older than your distinguished President? Say it isn’t so. And, I’ll be baking your Blue Chip Chocolate Chip Cookies as my procrastination tonight, thanks to Deb’s blog.

  • The prunes look like beetles to me.

    I made my first Perfect Scoop ice cream in my new little machine yesterday – the vanilla with bourbon and spiced pecans! Yum!

  • Too funny! Also, I thought it was just me who liked to make soup, but not eat it!

    Can’t wait until you visit Texas in April!

  • You are so funny. I enjoy read your post

  • I’m laughing at this post, not only because it is clever and funny, but also because it hits close to home. I do the exact same thing when I am stressed out about a deadline!

  • Ew, even though I like prunes, those look like rotting eggplants.

    I never thought about it, but I do love making soup – it’s so fun to throw everything in the pot together – and I tend to feel that eating it is a slightly unpleasant duty. What’s up with that?

  • If he’s not going to the conference, chances are he’s not coming to Austin, either.

    Follow your bliss, David.

  • I have a project due tomorrow and here I am reading your blog. I guess I can blame you for my career going down the tubes. But seriously, this is much more fun than working!

  • David, love your blog. I discovered it recently. Am learning much from you. Thanks for teaching. What is this about you coming to Texas in April? More specifically, IS IT HOUSTON you are coming to?

  • Ahhh….. you’re only human. Personally, I can’t even begin to get motivated for projects until the 11th hour. Something about the stress of the last few hours that really gets me going! Oh, and that sausage… that’s gross man.

  • Jane, Jenn, Milena: I wouldn’t miss Texas for anything! I’ll still be there. You can check my dates & appearances on my Schedule page.

  • Vive la procastionation! That’s what I am doing reading your blog (thank the procrastination, food and chocolate gods you are here). I made potato leek soup with parmasan toasts earlier.

    I am glad you are having luck with Heidi’s cookies. Mine turned out terribly (and I usually make a mean cookie). A friend of mine also had trouble (hers were too flat and mine were too thick). I wonder what we are doing wrong. Maybe I will give them another shot instead of working.

    I got my hair cut and ma racine touched up at Rock hair in the Bastille last June. They did a damn fine job too at a great price. Who knew?!

    Maureen in Oakland

  • Thanks for the andropause excuse. Maybe I can use that.

  • Can’t wait to see you in Hawaii….assuming the manuscript is done by then!!

  • Manuscript?

    What manuscript??

  • Dang! Me too on the soup thing. I made soup last week and yet it sits, still untouched in the fridge. And shortly in the trash. Maybe we can form some kind of co-op to match soup makers with soup eaters.

  • Off topic, but maybe you have some bananas laying around you need to use: I made your chocolate bailey’s banana ice cream on a ski trip recently, but first I caramelized some sugar, dropped in a knob of butter followed by split bananas, let them cook for a bit and then added the liquids in your recipe to loosen the caramelized sugar. I also used bourbon instead of rum since I didn’t feel like walking up hill in the snow both ways to the store for rum after skiing all day, and it came out just fine, if not better! I didn’t have a scale, so I just used LOTS of chocolate. Err on the side of more, and the worst that can happen is the ice cream will be stiffer but still not too hard. The first time I made it, I followed your instructions to the gram and found it a bit icy, perhaps too much water from the bananas but this time with more chocolate, it was just right.

  • God…those do look somewhat testicular. It might take me some time to get that image out of my mind.

    Guess I should go and scrub the showerhead hose. That ought to do it!

  • Lol, I’ve also found some mysterious hard things in the salami here! XP

    Mmm, sushi sounds good, no matter where you eat it!

    I’m with you on the soup, but if you want to try one that’s even better to eat than to make, try my sister’s recipe for spicy butternut soup: here. I’m normally not a fan of soup, but I ate this one for 3 days in a row! ;)

  • Ahhh, procrastination.
    Whenever I have a manuscript due I feel a sudden urge to walk my dog. During the last few months of my PhD I believe my dog was the most-walked pooch on the planet.
    Thanks for the fun reading…

  • I love a good confession, especially one that encourages everyone to stand up and say, “I do that, too!”

    My version is your blog. Thanks for being my excuse.

  • I love your blog.

  • How can you not like soup? Soup with hearty bread, soup with croutons…it’s so satisfying!

    And despite the mystery bits, that sausage looks delightful.

  • mel: I don’t know what it is about soup. Maybe it’s too filling for a first course, and too one-dimensional for a main. But by the time I get halfway through a big, hot friggin’ bowl of it, I’ve lost interest in it. The hearty bread part—well…I’m so with you on that one…

    The sausage is semi-delightful. We’re learning to co-exist in my apartment in spite of the fact that my place now smells like a curing barn.

    I’d hang it outside, but the pigeons of Paris would certainly have a field day. And depending on who you ask, I don’t want to be accused of cruelty to animals. And I’m sure they’re not as picky as I am either.

  • Hilarious post!

  • Oh my goodness, you really spread your hair all over the city of Paris? You are hilarious and fastly becoming my idol.

    Yay for procrastination! It’s all I do.

  • Prune-stuffed prunes? haha! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a prune like that before…

    I’m concerned about that sausage, I must admit.

  • i see your point…

  • i’m glad you are ok after eating that wild boar sausage. i would not be so ok!!!!!

  • Those stuffed prunes you are holding in your hand looked like you are holding a pair of oversize black beetles.

  • À la soupe! LOL I have the same problem. I like making soup, my soups always get requests for more and the recipe too… but I don’t like eating soup all that much myself.

    However, I married a soup fiend, so I make them, and he slurps them.

    As for procrastination, I can’t help you there; I’m just as bad.