Caramel Corn Smackdown

Judging from the dearth of excited commentary about my recent discovery, I assume few of you empathized with my enthusiasm for finding popcorn in Paris.

Well, try living for 3 years without Caramel Corn and see how you like it!

(One cannot live on Laduree macarons and glace Berthillon alone...)

Although I was inspired by Heidi's spiced-up recipe, a comment from Judy (who lives in Tuscany) bemoaned how much she missed Cracker Jacks™ and Fiddle-Faddle™, which confirmed in my mind that what I really, truly craved was just good-'ol American Caramel Corn. I knew that I could tinker around and devise the perfect recipe (and quickly blow through all my precious popcorn), so instead I decided late last night that globalization must again rear it's ugly head: I went to the experts on all-things-popcorn.

Scanning the Jolly Time web site, I clicked under the topic "Healthy Creations" under 'recipes'.

Isn't Caramel Corn healthy?

I scrolled through a recipe for Crunch Popcorn Salad, a stunning first-course, calling for fat-free mayonnaise, fat-free sour cream, 1¼ teaspoons dry ranch buttermilk salad dressing mix powder, and 3 slices of fat-free cheddar cheese 'product'. Ick.
It does indeed sound like a "Creation", but where's the "Healthy" part?

In another recipe, East-is-obliterated-by-the-West in Chocolate Berry Chai Morsels which calls for 3 tablespoons instant spiced chai mix, ½ cup berry-flavored jelly beans and...½ teaspoon sugar-free raspberry-flavored gelatin powder.

These recipes were too, um, "Healthy" for me, so I scanned down to the 'Favorites' recipes. The easiest one was for Baked Caramel Corn, touted as "A Smith family favorite -- easy to make and delicious!"
I didn't know who the hell the Smith family was...and to be quite honest, the whole "Smith family" scenario sounds a tad suspect and about as authentic as baking alongside Stepford's Betty Crocker™. Couldn't they have come up with something more original-sounding than the "Smith" family? Couldn't they have picked a real family...for example, "A Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes Family Favorite"?

So I tried their basic recipe for Caramel Corn, the non-baked variety that was untainted by faux family approval. I began by popping my popcorn the old-fashioned way: on the stovetop.
Since I only have a professional-quality (meaning "ridiculously heavy") copper saucepan with a lid, I nearly dislocated my shoulder popping my first batch.

At this point, I really miss my KitchenAid microwave oven. Every so often during my bittersweet life in France, I get a pang of nostalgia for something I've left something behind in the states. My microwave popcorn popper was indeed missed as I ducked away from sizzling-hot, oiled popcorn violently bursting towards my face (with remarkable accuracy, I might add) each time I peered under the lid. Following the recipe, I popped ¼ cup of popcorn which made a measly 1 quart of popped corn.

Not enough. I'd have to make more. So I went to ice-down my shoulder before I popped another batch.

Curiously, almost all the Jolly-Time recipes are for microwavable, pre-packaged popcorn popped in micro-pouches. And most of the recipes calls for adding yummies (apologies for channelling Rachel Ray) like, for example, butter-flavored crystals or other alarming ingredients. (When I was 16, I worked at a movie theatre concession booth. We had to add an orange powder in when we popped the popcorn, called Flav-O-Sol™. The package exclaimed in big letters that it would create "Traffic-Building Aroma!", a phrase that's stayed with me for the past 20 years. I think about it every time I develop a recipe for cookbooks...)
..."Hmmm, does this gâteau Lebovitz have traffic-building aroma?"

But even if you're a purist, a label I've worn (sorry Julie Powell), I advise finding microwave popcorn without all the crap in it and using it.

Popping popcorn on the stovetop is a real dart-in-the-ass.

Once re-popped, I carefully picked out all the unpopped kernels (I'm terrified of French dentists, which is why I haven't been in a year to see one. I don't know why. I'm sure they're good, but I've heard a few stories...)
Then I was ready to make my first batch of "classic" Caramel Corn, which tasted okay, but not what I was looking for.

This was becoming not such a jolly time. It was getting late in the evening, and I was tired of picking errant popcorn kernels out of the carpet and my hair. I reasoned that now was the time to open that emergency bottle of rosé that I kept chilled in the refrigerator.

I wanted something more dark, and caramelized, so I turned to the trusty test kitchen's of Gourmet.

So here's the recipe that I adapted from them...

Caramel Corn

2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/3 - 1/2 cup popcorn kernels
1 stick (½ cup) unsalted butter
1½ cups packed light brown sugar
(or half white sugar and half brown or cassonade sugar)
½ cup light corn syrup
(Corn syrup is 6€ a bottle at the Bon Marché, so I used glucose.)
½ teaspoon coarse salt
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup salted peanuts, or use any toasted nuts, such as almonds, pecans, or cashews. Next time I want to throw a handful of cocoa nibs in too

Special equipment: a candy thermometer

Heat oil with 3 kernels in a 3-quart heavy saucepan, covered, over moderate heat until 1 or 2 kernels pop. Remove lid and quickly add remaining kernels, then cook, covered, shaking pan frequently, until kernels stop popping (or until your shoulder gives out), about 3 minutes. Remove from heat and uncover. I ended up with 6 cups of popped popcorn, (premium American-brands of popcorn will yield more than my did, about 8 cups of popcorn, which is better to use. If so, you may need to prepare 2 baking sheets in the next step.)

Line bottom of a large shallow baking pan with foil and lightly oil foil, or use a non-stick baking sheet.

Melt butter in a 6-quart heavy pot over moderate heat. Add brown sugar and corn syrup, and salt and bring to a boil over moderate heat, stirring, then boil, without stirring, until syrup registers 300 degrees F on thermometer, 8 to 10 minutes. Remove pot from heat.

Using a wooden spoon or a heatproof spatula, stir vanilla into the syrup (and baking soda!...see below...), then quickly stir in peanuts and popcorn to coat. Immediately spread mixture over baking pan as thinly and evenly as possible. (I used my fingertips, which at this point have zero-feeling, but I strongly suggest using a heatproof spatula or clean rubber gloves since the mixture's still gonna be hot.)

So at this point, I'm feeling all satisfied with myself. Proud of my caramel corn. I'm picking at bits and pieces, which are still warm but hold the promise of caramelized crispitude. Yum!

Then I turn around and start gathering my dirty pots and pans, ready to wash up and go to bed.

And there it is on the counter.

Quietly sitting there, waiting to be noticed...

...the ½ measuring spoon with the baking soda that I forgot to add.

Argghh!!
Luckily I didn't need to re-clean the thermometer or the candying pan.
So after I poured myself another sip of rose, I re-did the recipe, this time adding the baking soda. Later, I taste both side-by-side and while the third (and final) batch of the night with the baking soda was the best.
The Jolly Time batch, while it had that all-American taste (like Popcorn Balls) I ended up eating some of the darker batch with the rest of the bottle of rosé late last night, then finishing most of it up before, during, and after breakfast this morning.